Dating apps are getting more and more popular. Most modern people cannot imagine their life without them and do not remember what it is like to meet people on the streets. According to text messages it is very difficult to understand what kind of person sitting by the other side of the screen and his intentions, and a personal meeting may not happen soon.
Applications for meeting people make our life much easier. They cover a large area and increase the number of people you can meet with. Acquaintance through the application is not as scary as in person, but most of these acquaintances lead to nothing. In meetings with real people there is an inexplicable romance, a spark jumps between you right away.
We will tell you how to move away from online applications and move on to dating in real life.
Remove dating apps
They spend a lot of time and effort and do not lead to anything. In Tinder and similar applications, many people are sitting not because they want to find people to meet, but just look through photos and raise their self-esteem at the expense of others. Few active users really want to find a soulmate. Even fewer people were successful in a search.
After electronic messages, sometimes the moment comes for a real meeting and everything collapses. Meeting offline and dating online are two different things. After lengthy conversations with a personal meeting, it may turn out that the person is not at all the same as you imagined. Photos are photoshopped, behavior is not as you would like it to be, in reality he/she cannot bind two words, etc. Such disappointments can be avoided. On the street, you just watch a person for some time, and if you like her/him, get acquainted. And it’s not as scary as it seems.
Leave your den
You cannot meet people unless you leave home. Unless something breaks and you do not have to call a master or courier. You need to go out into the world to make new acquaintances on the streets. It doesn’t matter where you go: yoga, the Doctor Who Convention, a cafe or a seminar – there are people everywhere to meet you. By visiting places that interest you, you increase your chances of meeting like-minded people. With such people it is easier to start a conversation about something in common. An awkward acquaintance can turn into a fascinating conversation and evening with a bunch of memories.
Do not take to heart
Nowadays, talking to strangers is wary especially if you are a man. Many guys are simply afraid to approach a girl: what if you could be charged with harassment? Do not be afraid of this, everything will be fine if you follow a few recommendations:
- Be sure of yourself. Do not be shy and afraid of talking to strangers. People around you are the same as you are;
- Be polite. Self-confidence does not mean stupidity, rudeness or arrogance. Be respectful to the interlocutor, carefully choose the words and keep a small distance so as not to fit into the personal person’s space;
- Do not be afraid of failure. They refuse not because they want to offend, but for some reason. For example, a girl may have a boyfriend or she does not want to meet new people. You may not be in her taste, but this is not a reason to be upset. Most likely, you also have any taste preferences and there is nothing to worry about. Do not be afraid of failures, there is nothing wrong with them and you can not do without them when meeting in real life. The more you receive them, the easier it will be to relate to them;
- Leave with dignity. If you are refused and the other person / you need to leave, say goodbye with dignity. It is not necessary to insult or offend the interlocutor, even if he does so. Kindly say goodbye and leave with your head held high.
The most important thing is to try. Even if you are denied, you will feel 15 pounds higher, just because you tried. Refused? Well, let! It will turn out next time.
Do not miss your chance
Starting a conversation with a stranger is not easy, especially if you like him. You can miss out on someone special if you don’t try. For example, you saw someone new in a gym and you liked him. Start a conversation with her/him, it will quickly spin around a common topic – training and sports. When the conversation comes to an end, take a phone number or invite for dinner. If you just say goodbye and leave, you can never meet this person again. Take a chance, invite a person somewhere or ask how to find him on social networks. Miss your chance and all your life you will guess whether it would turn out something or not. Better to try than regret for years.
Ask your friends to introduce you
This is one of the best and proven ways to find a soulmate. Ask your friends, maybe they have a free friend or girlfriend. Ask for a date or hint that you’re looking for someone. Your friends are unlikely to introduce you to a bad person. Go to a party if your friends are having a party. Go if you are called to a big company. Do not miss your chance and feel free to contact your friends for help.
Some other advice
Some tips to help you to come out of my shell and go outside in search of your happiness:
- Understand what do you really want. Before you start your search, determine what are you looking for: a couple of nights a week, long-term relationships, making friends with someone, or something else. From this and will need to build on the search. We do not always know and understand what exactly we want. Nothing happens until you make up your mind;
- Go to new places if you want to meet new people. Going to the same bar every day is not the best idea. The likelihood that someone new will drop in and immediately sink into your soul is very small. Want to see new faces – go to another place. It’s not necessary to change all places to new ones. Start with small things. For example, go to another coffee shop on the way to work or go to another bar on Friday. At least you will find a couple of good and pleasant places where you can have a good time with friends or relax and have a rest;
- Set achievable goals. Let them scare you a little, but you will have to step over fear sooner or later. Approaching a pretty girl or guy on the street is much easier than it sounds. Maybe you like a barista in any coffee shop or a girl with whom you go to the same gym. Be courageous, be more confident. Set a goal, for example, to meet five people on the street by the new year. Just do not set long-term goals. The more you communicate with strangers, the easier it will be for you;
- Be yourself and don’t worry. As a rule, people are most worried about the first phase. Begin to come up with something abnormal or witty, you will be even more nervous. Start with simple things. Tell him that you caught his eye several times and decided to go and introduce yourself. Rehearsed speech will immediately be obvious, so do not try to invent it. Be yourself;
- Find an interest group. It doesn’t matter what it will be: cooking classes, comic-con, jogging club, etc. Join a group related to what you are familiar with and understand. there you will not only meet new people, but will also know what to talk to them about. If you sit at home and just walk along the street, the probability of meeting someone becomes very low;
- Walk alone. This does not apply to places where you do not feel safe. Your safety is above all. As much as you feel uncomfortable, leave this place right away. If you feel good, spending time alone can be fun! And so it will be easier for you to come and get acquainted. It is very scary to approach someone who is surrounded by a large group of friends. Take a book, sit in a cafe or restaurant, order a glass of wine or a light meal and just sit. Relax, relax. Be sure you will have a great time and most likely will make a couple of new acquaintances.
Going beyond your comfort zone is always difficult. Sitting all your life in dating applications you will not see the world and people. Feel free and don’t be afraid to approach strangers on the street. Remember that they are people like you are. They may just as well be afraid of you. So be yourself, don’t build scripts. Just relax and enjoy the pleasure of communication.